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Breaking Media, Politicians & Celebrities Since 1995Tabloid news for broadsheet readers |
SAYS gynaecologist Mohamad Abdul Bari of baby Kiron, born in Bangladesh with two heads:
“He has one stomach and he is eating normally with his two mouths. He has one genital organ and a full set of limbs. He was born from one embryo but there was a developmental anomaly.”
Can you spot what it might have been..?
FIVE people have been arrested in alleged plot to kill Gordon Brown, or..:
The message, written in English, allegedly included a threat to target “all the political leaders, especially Tony Blair and Gordan (sic) Brown”.
A damning indiuctment of our education system, and a pretty shoddy showing for Gordon Brown, who after an entire year in power is known among alleged extremists as “Gordan”. Are all, alleged, jihadis thick?
OVER the news wires, Anorak learns that “troubled” singer Pete Doherty is to show “an unseen homemade movie about his life in an Austrian cinema”.
Doherty’s trouble seem to be that narcotics are illegal and addictive. Other than that he seems to be doing just fine making a living from getting off his face and singing half-finished Donovan songs.
And what of Austria, a fine place to show your home movies, perhaps on a cellar wall in the company of the good old boys, who might want to share some footage of their youth in Salzburg, Berlin, Warsaw and Greece.
On August 26th, George Bush announces that September is National Preparedness Month:
NOW, THEREFORE, I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim September 2008 as National Preparedness Month.
A TWO-year old, a pit bull dog and a Rottweiler are walking through Oakdean, south of Johannesburg.
No, it’s not a new challenge on I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! And if the boy had been drinking cherry cola and sweets all day, he would be a fearsome predator.
(ITV – if you’re reading this, call me, I’ve got some terrific ideas for the show.)
RUSSIA has given the West the finger. Barack Obama understands.
Russian troops are pulling out of Georgia.
And Russian peacekeepers – who look a lot like Russian troops, although even more peaceful – are staying put.
This picture is on the front of a Russian news organ. And the second one too (after the jump).
DAILY Mail headline of the day: “Author of ‘100 Things to Do Before You Die’ is killed in fall - and he only managed to achieve half his list”
The man who co-wrote the best-selling adventure travel guide 100 Things To Do Before You Die has died at the age of 47. He died after falling over at his home in Venice, California, and hitting his head.
JOHN McCain or Barack Obama, the main player in the Barack Obama Death Cult. Which is going to die first?
While many are waiting (is hope to strong a word?) for Obama to be shot, McCain keeps getting older.
ARE you ready for “JACQUI SMITH’S SECRET POLICE”?
While the potty Home Secretary keeps you distracted with her kebab and embonpoint, her police force is hard at it.
And the Mail knows how to spot them. Some of them, let’s call them “Security guards” are dressed in black jumpers (although they can be a dark navy blue) and polyester blend trousers.
PARIS Hilton news, by Gordon Smart:
“The heiress rarely goes out without donning a pair of killer stillettos - even for a trip to the supermarket it seems” – The Sun
More tabloid news tomorrow…
CELEBRITY news of the day: Brad Pitt’s children of all the colours…
The Sun reports that Brad Pitt has been walking with sons Maddox and Pax Thien in Venice.
The boys “showed off their snazzy hairdos, proving they can be just as cool as their old man. Maddox sported a blue mohawk, while Pax was working the bleached fringe look.”
Brad wore a hat (beige)…
A DIRECTIVE to members and staff of Chichester District Council, West Sussex, instructs them to resist and desist form using the phrase “the man in the street”.
The phrase is deemed “inherently sexist, not a fair reflection of reality, and makes the views or work of women invisible”. Quite so. Staff are instructed to use “a positive alternative” such as “the general public”.
Anorak imagines that the phrase rankles with the missive’s writer, and like all pet hates it is irrational.
LILY Allen News Of The Day…
A KNITTING group which has lent a helping hand to charities across the world is celebrating its first anniversary. Longford-based group Helping Hands Knitters has been going for just one year – but it’s been a busy one. Members have also raised money for Age Concern by knitting miniature woollen hats for smoothie bottles – even created life-size versions of pop stars Lily Allen, Amy Winehouse and Beth Ditto - Wales Online
More Lily Allen news tomorrow…
IT’S The Barack Obama Death Cult. It’s the fear that grips us all…
THE plot to kill Barack Obama – the Barack Obama Death Cult – sees three more persons held by police.
At least that’s what the Sun says on its front page. It’s the “plot to kill Obama,” says the Express on its cover.
There were four people, which means either one is on the loose, or else has been adopted by Russian agents/ the Far Right/ the CIA/ the Mafia/ The Taliban/ Hillary Clinton/ Joe Biden fans to kill Obama at a later date.
STEVE Is Missing. Have you seen Steve? He’s the world of imaginary friends’ our Maddie…
Spotter: Bea
IS that you, Gary Glitter? Where then the grey monkey beard, pony tail and bandana?
Is that you, Gary Glitter dressed in smart blue cardigan and cream panama hat?
Gary Glitter is upon us. Gary Glitter is here. They say he can change his look. They say he can appear as he wants to.
As the Sun screams from its front page:
“YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU’ CAN’T HIDE.”
MADDIE WATCH - Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann
SKY NEWS: “Tragic Case Of Israel’s Madeleine”
One day on from the news of Israel’s “our Maddie”, Sky news leads with “Israel’s our Maddie”. As Anorak readers know Israel’s our Maddie is called Rose Ron. Sky News - First for breaking news…
Rose Ron is missing. Rose Ron was missing:
No-one seemed to really notice until her grandfather walked into a Tel Aviv police station two weeks ago and confessed to her murder.
No-one? Subtext: Sky News didn’t notice.
US model and Michelle Obama wannabe Tyra Banks has a curse:
A number of presidential candidates have appeared on Banks’s talk show (Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, John Edwards) - Harpers Bazaar
John Edwards. Gone. Hillary Clinton. Gone. Barack Obama…
IT’S The Barack Obama
