Tossing The Pig

‘REBECCA Loos masturbates a pig on national TV and suddenly there’s a flood of complaints.

‘Cop a load of this, Babe’

“It’s cruelty to animals,” some cry. “Why the pig, why not me,” ask others. “I thought it was supposed to be a corkscrew shape,” still others complain.

Fret not, dear viewer. It’s just TV – and the only two questions you need to ask is why the woman who shagged David Beckham didn’t go all the way with her porcine lover and what next.

For the answer to the first we hear from Rebecca herself. “I’m not that kind of girl,” she protests. “I never put out on a first date.”

For the answer to the second, we look to next year’s TV schedules and the new ITV series, When Animals Come!

Presented by Cat Deeley, the show will every week feature eight celebrities competing to see who can wank off their chosen animal the fastest.

“Get ready for some serious thrills and spills,” it says here on the press release. “Anyone who sees the incident with Anna Walker and the llama will never forget it as long as they live.”

We wait with bated breath…’

Posted: 7th, October 2004 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink