The Slow Motion Tour

JUST one week into his world tour, and George Michael has made it about a mile from his Highgate home.

“GEORGE IN 999 DOPE DASH,” announces the front page of the Sun. “Singer slumped at wheel again.”

We join the Sun at the junction of Cricklewood Lane and Hendon Way, North London, a busy thoroughfare.

At his current rate of progress, George might not make it to Milan for his performance this Thursday. But it is thought he is on schedule to arrive in Wembley, North London, in time for his November show. Good luck with that, George.

But right now he’s not going anywhere. George is sat at the traffic lights. Look at them. Here’s a green one. Then an orange one. Now a red one. Then orange. Green. Red. Orange. Green. And so on. It’s just so awesome.

It’s just after 3.20am and an eyewitness explains what they see. “An officer saw George slumped in his seat in a semi-conscious state,” says the source. “He was helped out of the car and an ambulance was called because there were real concerns for him.”

Police discovered a small quantity of cannabis at the scene and, having taken George to a hospital in Hampstead for checks, arrested him on suspicion of driving under the influence of drugs.

“George 3am drink and drugs bust,” says the Mirror’s front page, illustrating the story with a file picture of startled George caught in the headlights. “COPS RUSH HIM TO HOSPITAL AFTER HE COLLAPSES IN CAR.”

We learn that he failed a breath test, and hear a source say: “There was concern a mix of drugs and alcohol may have had a bad effect on him.”

This is, as the Star reports, George’s fourth “nightmare” driving incident. Although it is believed that he had less a nightmare than ruby dreams…

Posted: 2nd, October 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink