Katie Price, Standing Out: Thongs, Wrongs And Dongs
OLD Mr Anorak’s Books Club reviews Standing Out, by Katie Price, author of 45 autobiographies, including, Tits Aht, Tits Not Quite Aht, Finkkin Ov Gettin’ Yer Tits Aht, Maw Tits Aht, Tits Volumes 1 – XI and study notes.
On Amazon, the associated “tags” for this book are:
Fake, orange, plastic, shallow, trash, ugly, waste of a good tree.
The premise of Katie’s book:
From my early teens I’ve been an exhibitionist and from the time I started senior school I was desperate to look different. I’ve always gone for clothes that make me stand out, rather than blend in with the rest of the crowd.
Unless the crowed is a set of inflatable Aunt Sallies, in which case revert to trouser suit.
The publisher chips in:
Here, Katie Price opens up her make-up bag and throws open the doors to her wardrobe. She talks about how her image has changed as her career in the spotlight has evolved and how what she wears affects her relationships with her family, her fans and the press.
Katie communicates via her power of her clothes.
Thong: More cheese?
Thigh boots: She fears rain
Pink cowboy hat and chaps: She’s worried about the quality of local schools
She reveals all her top tips on looking and feeling good to get the best out of life including what she wore on the night that Jordan was born…
Dunno. Might be a bit big.
Find out which style crime makes Katie say ‘there’s just no excuse for it’ and who makes Katie think did you actually look in the mirror before leaving the house?
While Katie straps herself into her fashion police get up – helmet-shaped helmet; vibrating truncheon and fluffy handcuff – she has much to tell us:
“If you want to wear high heels carry a pair of flip flops in your bag to wear later.”
Useful if your conquest has a swimming pool and you fear a verucca, but not vital.
“People are scared of Botox as they think their face is going to end up frozen and blank-looking but I don’t have a very expressive face anyway so I don’t worry about not being able to show emotion. It’s not like I’m an actor and need to have that ability.”
In any case, the surgeon can do emotion later – upturned lips for happy; downturned lips for sad; eyes rolled to top of head for “I’ve overdone the lift”.
“I remember one time I had a charity job in a poor part of India. I arrived to find my suitcase had split and everything had vanished, so I didn’t have anything to wear for the job, no make-up, toiletries – nothing. As there were no shops I had to spend the whole three days of our trip in what I had been wearing on the plane. That was pretty shit, I can tell you.”
Or an un-pretty one…
With additonal readings by Marina Hyde
Posted: 16th, October 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
