70 Stone Paul Mason Is The World’s Fattest Dancer
MR Paul Mason is the world’s fattest man. Mr Mason last achieved a fame of sorts in 2002 when he weighed 56 stone and needed to go to hospital for a hernia operation. Back then, a firecrew removed his bedroom window, dismantled a brick wall and fence and took him off in a forklift truck.
Paul Mason is big. He now weighs in at an impressive 70 stone.
Or as the Sun puts it on its front page:
“WORLD’S FATTEST BLOKE LIVES IN IPSWICH.”
His secret:
He eats 20,000 calories of food a day – EIGHT TIMES the official adult male average of 2,500. Paul scoffs three family-sized takeaways a night and wolfs down Sunday roasts like snacks.
He’s a giant of a man, popping whole roast chickens into his mouth.
On Google Earth, Ipswich is the small reddish-brown smudge by Mason’s ankle.
Paul Mason is a former engineer, is due to undergo surgery in the next few weeks in a bid to reduce his weight. NHS officials are trying to decide how to move him from his home in Ipswich, Suffolk, to a specialist unit for obese patients at St Richard’s Hospital, Chichester, West Sussex, 152 miles away.
Might be easier to move the hospital to Mr Mason. Or float him there in a balloon. (Richard Heene – call me, I’ve ideas.)
The current preferred method is to use a reinforced ambulance, over a military Chinook helicopter.
Susie Squire, of the Taxpayers’ Alliance, said: “While it is important to get this man the medical attention he needs, cost-effective methods must be used.”
Maybe our Olympic weightlifters can work his relocation into their training regimes? Or monies can be raised by releasing “THE WORLD’S FATTEST BLOKE LIVES IN IPSWICH” as novelty record?
An NHS Suffolk spokesman says:
“This patient is classed as super obese. It is most likely that he will be transported in a specialist bariatric ambulance. The most important aspect of transporting him is preserving his dignity and looking after his safety. We have not had anything like this before.”
Never mind dignity, get a load of those headlines.
“NHS surgery to save life of 70st junk food addict Paul Mason,” says the Mirror, picturing picture of Mr Mason’s face alongside a picture of a plate of fish and chips, which is not junk food.
The Telegraph reports:
His widowed mother Janet, 78, who was wheelchair bound, is believed to have died around six weeks ago.
The word “believed” seems unnecessary in the matter of death, it being one of life’s certainties. And on first hearing it Anorak could not help but think the poor woman was last seen hoisting up her son’s trousers.
Paul Mason is big news – literally…
Note: If this legislation banning talking of fat is passed the one thing Paul Mason won’t be famous for is his weight. And finally, the world will get to know about his dancing feet.
Posted: 21st, October 2009 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True Comments (17) | TrackBack | Permalink
