The Death Of Susan Boyle Gives SuBo A YouTube Sequel
SUSAN Boyle Watch: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Susan Boyle in the news:Laydeeees and gentlemen, presenting the Death of Susan Boyle, featuing Elaine Paige, John Lennon and an intruder. Will it be captured in YouTube and give SuBo a hit sequel?
It’s not pleasant but murder rarely is. Susan Bole will be stabbed in the neck, have her head removed by pliers and shagged in any holes left. It’s not pleasant, ladies and gentlemen, but murder rarely is.
As minds whirl with how Susan Boyle will be slain, her brother, John Boyle tells us that we must not get carried away. Hold the drill and the chainsaw. Susan Boyle will be shot six times as she enters her home. She will stagger a few steps into the vestibule, or hallway, before collapsing in a river of blood. No, no skewers. Says the Sun:
THE worried brother of raid victim Susan Boyle told last night how he fears a crazed fan will kill her – just like John Lennon.
Says John Boyle, in light of an intruder being found in SuBo’s home:
“I am very upset about the lack of security. Her management company are too busy counting the money Susan has made them to consider her safety. The family have told them several times that vast improvements need to be made to avoid something like this happening. This it the second time something has happened to Susan at her home and it is extremely worrying. Susan is a massive world star and needs better protection. You look at what happened to John Lennon in New York – it’s really worrying.”
Says SuBo:
“I think he got more of a scare than I did because he ran off.”
Over in the Daily Record, we get to relive the post-horror horror:
FRIGHTENED Susan Boyle believes the prowler she found in her council house has tried to break in before. The singing sensation was “terrified and hysterical” on Tuesday night after she came home to find an intruder in her humble semi-detached.
A pal says Boyle was sick “nine times” after the incident.
Stand well back – SuBo might be catching. Elaine Paige – spinster; musical star; known to millions as ElPa – says Boyle is a “virus who had spread across the world in a nanosecond”.
And who can be wiped out in a trice. Susan Boyle, ladies and genbltmsn, a woman who became a star, was billed as evidence of God’s love and now is the subject of death threats and likened to a disease…
Posted: 28th, January 2010 | In: Key Posts Comments (8) | TrackBack | Permalink
