Tim’s Up

”I’D pull me pants down and have a piss in the corner!’ declared Jade, during a typically refined mealtime conversation in the house of Big Brother.

‘If, like me, you fancy me now, you should see me in my glasses,’ says Tim

But others had more important things to think about. Alex and Tim are both up for eviction. The two of them had a heart-to-heart. ‘Oh Tim!’ sighed Alex, after they had discussed their predicament. ‘Oh Alex!’ replied Tim.

Tim is angry because he is being ‘discriminated’ against. Not by the newspapers, who are sharpening their knives for the moment he is expelled from the house, but from Big Brother herself.

‘The fact is, I wear contact lenses,’ he whined in reply to the faceless female voice of BB. ‘Comprendez?!’ He is angry because, although he had taken his contact lenses out in the ‘dorm’, he was still expected to get up and do games (ie, roller disco) in the middle of the night,

Alex is simply losing the will to live – or rather, the peculiar approximation of living that the BB house encourages. ‘I’m just not doing myself any favours,’ he concluded. ‘It would be completely different if different people were in here…’

It would indeed, Alex. It would indeed.

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Posted: 18th, July 2002 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink