The Grand Finale

‘IT’S unfortunate, but somebody’s got to win it. And tonight, we finally find out which one of the four remaining housemates is destined to grace the front pages of the weekend’s tabloids before going on to host an obscure programme on cable TV.

Please, let this be the last we see of Jade

Will it be odds-on favourite Kate? The ‘pretty blonde’ has endeared herself to viewers by rarely wearing anything more than a bikini, flirting with every male in the house but Sandy, and ruining the bedroom carpet after over-indulging in Black Tower.

Or will it be fireman Jonny, who’s proven how adept he is with a hose? The bookies’ favourite for most of the series, he survived numerous nominations for eviction, possibly because he stopped eating his toenails in public.

Perhaps Alex will walk off with the cash. At the start, he looked a sure thing for eviction with his constant whingeing and petty nagging. But the moaning model has blossomed in the house and – though he doesn’t have a lot of competition, admittedly – has revealed himself to be the wittiest of the lot.

Or will it be Jade? Please, God, no. In her favour, the walking gob from Bermondsey has repeatedly demonstrated that there are no depths to which she will not sink in order to entertain. But just bear this in mind – if Jade wins, she will be defiling our TV screens on a regular basis for at least the next couple of weeks.

So who will win it? You decide.

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Posted: 26th, July 2002 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink