The Sum Of All Fears

”’YIKES!” shrieks the Enquirer. ”Stars’ bizarre phobias turn Hollywood into Hollyweird.” And in the spirit of sympathy and compassion for which it is justly renowned, the magazine proceeds to list the foibles and fears of Tinseltown’s finest.

Woody wonders whether he’ll ever be hot

Michelle Pfeiffer is claustrophobic (”prefers roomy rooms and open spaces”). Kim Basinger is agoraphobic (”a fear of open, public places”). Billy Bob Thornton is ”afraid of antique furniture”. Mel B is afraid of old people.

Woody Allen is scared of overheating and ”has been known to take his temperature every two hours” (although he might simply have been ill at the time – a possibility that is not considered in this ever-so-slightly glib exercise).

But what of the phobias that dare not speak their name? Robin Williams’ aversion to funny movies, Brad Pitt’s pathological fear of decent clothing, Keith Richards’ fear of a new chord structure…

We could go on, but it only encourages them. ‘

Posted: 15th, August 2002 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink