United We Stand

‘RUMOURS abound that the Premier League football season starts this weekend, and that there is more than just one team entering. But these are just rumours, and some elements of the press doggedly stick to the belief that Manchester United are the only team involved.

As of this wekend, anyone not wearing this kit will be barred from playing football

The Sun, for instance, leads with ”Keane’s Double Rocket”, a story on how the charmless cove who captain’s the country’s only team ”could” be sued by Alf-Inge Haaland and Manchester City. Unfortunately, the story loses all power with that word ”could”. For it is just as possible that Keane ”could” not be taken to court; that Keane ”could” be innocent of setting out to cripple the Manchester City player; or, most fancifully of all, Keane ”could” act like a man and apologise.

That tale is followed by one about how the only Premiership side are to lose bit-part player Wes Brown for three months. Brown, the Sun laments, has a broken ankle. Inside the paper, readers get to hear of someone calling himself Ashley Cole. But we find out little about what he does and more of how he thinks ”United won’t get one extra point this years even with Rio”. It really is all about United.

And there is Rio Ferdinand on the back of the Mirror, being told by Leeds United chairman Peter Ridsdale that he was only signed as cover for Jonathan Woodgate – for, as events have shown, Woodgate could not rely on the existing ”cover” supplied by Michael Duberry. But Rio is at United, Keane is at United, the Sun’s journalists are at United, and we are all delighted, it would seem, to be United.

But there are pleasures to be had in sport other than reading about Manchester United, and young golfer Justin Rose could be providing armchair fans with such moments sooner rather than later. The Telegraph shows Rose in action at his first American major, the US PGA Championship at Hazeltine, and watches him mark his card with a first-round three-under-par 69, to go into the clubhouse a single shot behind leader Fred Funk. And for this blessing, Rose is ”very pleased”. ”There were a lot of tough tricky shots but I handled them well,” he says.

For readers who only see the favourites, news that there is a golfer other than Tiger Woods must be a shock, so the Times reminds readers that Woods could only manage a 71.

But the best sports news is saved for the Telegraph, which moves yet further away football and sees the Rolex Commodores’ Cup offshore race from Cowes. The race was won by Nick Hewson’s Team Tonic, news that’s followed by a round up of sport that includes some lawn tennis, bowls and equestrianism. All delivered a page before a story that says ”United will bounce back vows Keane”. Phew, thought you might have overlooked that one, boys. ‘

Posted: 16th, August 2002 | In: Back pages Comment | TrackBack | Permalink