The Roaring Forties

”’COMING soon: the age of the fortysomethings.” Now that’s better, why can’t we have a few more headlines like that one, which comes courtesy of the small but beautifully put together Independent.

Models show anorak’s new ‘Comfi-slaxs’ range of clothing for the more discerning male

Who could possibly disagree that the world would be a better and more agreeable place if the majority of the population wore sensible ‘Comfi-slaxs’ (anorak own brand) and listened to music with a proper tune? The only problem is that the average age won’t reach 40 until the year 2007, and that may be too late for some.

Elsewhere, the Indie reports that 41-year-old Mark Goodier has been removed ”by mutual consent” from his post on the Top 40 chart show – a job that his illustrious predecessor Alan ”Fluff” Freeman was still doing perfectly well at the age of 93.

Meanwhile, the Times says: ”It’s now or never to cash in as the King’s lustre fades.” Profits for Elvis-related products are on the slide, it seems, and the present 25-year anniversary of his final, toilet-ridden wriggle of the pelvis could prove to be his last hurrah.

So it seems that for five more years we’ll have to put up with news reports backed with house music and documentary commentaries by graduates of the Dani Behr School of Narration.

But don’t be alarmed. The beers are stored away in a nice warm cupboard, the jars of chutney are in boxes under the stairs, and all the other relics of our way of life have been secreted to safe houses in the suburbs.

Our day will come. And when it does, there will be no mercy. ‘

Posted: 16th, August 2002 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink