Golden Ballpoint

‘NATURALLY our greatest living hero, David Beckham, has made the BBC’s list of 100, though his wife Victoria has, incomprehensibly, been omitted. And now, Golden Balls has been offered a sizeable chunk of cash to tell us all about his greatness, in his own words.

”What’s this I hear about you having another spokeswoman, David?”

”It was announced yesterday that David Beckham, at the tender age of 27, has signed a multi-million pound deal to pen his autobiography,” reports the Guardian. In it, ”Beckham promises to reveal details of his career and private life ‘in my own words for the first time”’ – words such as ”lovely”, ”wicked” and ”thong”.

HarperCollins have offered Becks a sum believed to be in excess of £2million, which works out at roughly £250,000 per three-syllable word published. ”This will be the publishing event of 2003,” promises Amanda Ridout, the managing director of HarperCollins General Books. ”David will give us a fascinating insight into the private life of a man whose every move is followed on the world stage.” But doesn’t Posh already do that every time she gets within six feet of a microphone?

For those who are a little sceptical about Becks’ literary talents, a spokeswoman for HarperCollins ”confirmed that Beckham would be getting ‘professional help’ with the writing”. His Manchester United team-mate Roy Keane is thought to be lined up for the job.

‘

Posted: 22nd, August 2002 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink