More Pants Plots

‘THE all-pervasive influence of ‘Changing Rooms’ has even reached as far as Weatherfield. Fizz and her reluctant flatmate Toyah, have decided to redecorate their flat. ”Don’t worry, Audrah,” Fizz reassured her, ”it’ll be tasteful, like everything I do.”

The pair decided to throw a decorating party. And in true soap style, the ubiquitous ‘Now That’s What I Call Music 54’ was on the portable CD player and the cans of lager in the fridge before you could say: didn’t we have this exact plot three weeks ago in Eastenders?

Toyah invited some of her student friends (who looked suspiciously like the extras from The Rovers) and Karen made sure the party went with a bang by blowing her bingo winnings on booze.

Although of course Karen is used to being the big bang of every party. But since she’s become a married lady, it looks like she’s passing that title on to Fizz, as Fizz ended up decorating Kirk’s bedroom floor with her knickers.

And on the subject of knickers, it looks like they are about to get Steve and Joe into very big trouble. Joe persuaded Steve to go with him to steal back the order that Dev’s cousin hadn’t paid for.

But having about as much ability to burgle a building quietly as The Chuckle Brothers, it’s hardly surprising that by the end of the night, Joe was unconscious in a heap at the bottom of the stairs with the alarm blaring out into the night.

Pinky and Perky somehow managed to make it back to Weatherfield only to be told by Mike that Dev had promised to pay his cousin’s debt anyway.

If only Tricky Dicky’s financial problems were so easily solved. After a meeting with his bank manager, Richard has been given until Christmas to find the 350 grand he’s in debt by, otherwise he stands to lose everything: business, home and irritatingly smug wife.

Richard’s not unduly worried, as he explained to Gail, ”I see a lot of liquidisation of assets in the winter.” Meaning that a lot of the old dears he’s lent money too are more prone to dying in the winter months (unless he gets at them with a shovel first).

Richard’s a businessman though and he doesn’t want put all his eggs in one basket, so is formulating a back-up plan. He overheard Audrey and Emily talking in the Rovers about how their memories were getting worse and that Alzheimer’s wasn’t probably too far away. No indeed, if Richard has anything to do with it.

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Posted: 13th, September 2002 | In: Strange But True Comment | TrackBack | Permalink