Diamonds Are Forever

‘BUT the Enquirer has news to gladden Melanie’s heart as it unveils a seven stone diamond and gold eternity ring.

It says it all

This ring really is for keeps, and who wouldn’t want to stare in awe at the amazing jewel-like stones until cataracts turn the thing into a blur of yellow metal and glass.

And the even better news is that the ring is now on special offer, slashed in price to a remarkable £199.50, or £39.90 a month for resting actors.

Gorgeous is not a word we use lightly, so we won’t use it now. But rather we’ll wait until she buys something for him. And as if my magic, there it is: the gentleman’s platinum ingot watch.

Imagine an entire ingot of precious metal strapped to your wrist that not only builds the muscles in your forearms to a Van Damme-esque 17 inches in the round but also tells the time accurately at least twice EVERY day.

And you’d best hurry because this offer only lasts until 20th October, 2000, which in the romantic world of Hollywood is two engagements, three marriages and a pregnancy away.

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Posted: 19th, September 2002 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink