Tara Gets It Off Her Chest

‘RANK the following three objects in order of usefulness: 1) A chocolate tea-pot; 2) An ashtray on a motorbike; 3) Tara Palmer-Tomkinson’s bikini top.

”See – nothing!”

A pat on the back for all those who came up with the right answer 1-2-3, except of course those of you who are doing this test under the Oxford & Cambridge Board supervision – it doesn’t matter what you put, you’re still wrong.

This week, Hello! has plenty of pictures of the world’s most redundant object being modelled by the world’ second most redundant object, as Tara opens up her heart to Hello! and cashes in on the short-lived fame following her appearance on I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here!

Surely, one thinks, the girl who put the I into ‘It girl’ would be only too keen to forget the tears and the tantrums in the Aussie jungle.

Far from it – she rates coming second in the TV gameshow as ”the first time in my life I’ve ever felt proud of something I’ve done”.

”My sister was head of school,” she explains, ”my brother got straight As [in the days when straight As still meant something], while I was blackboard wiper and then the black sheep.”

No longer – as the other P-Ts carve out successful careers and fulfilled lives for themselves, how they must glance enviously over at their sister and recall that it was her, not them, who came second in I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here!

But what of Darren Day, the man who accused Tara of sexually harassing him?

”If he called me tomorrow and suggested we meet up, I would decline,” says our strong-willed heroine. ”I could never be friends with someone who has lied to me. If he’d won, I’d have lost faith in the entire British public.” Us too, Tara. Us too.

However, Tara’s lowest ebb came when Nigel Benn was voted off the show.

”I felt like someone with broken legs who’s had their crutches taken away,” she reveals. ”I got into my sleeping bag and just cried and cried. I felt like a lemon with all the zest squeezed out of me.”

But judging from the spread in this week’s Hello!, we are happy to report that Tara is back to her zesty best.

So, how did Tara get through the terrible ordeal? By ”praying every night in the privacy of the camp’s makeshift lavatory”.

God may move in mysterious ways, but Tara, it appears, is as regular as clockwork.

‘

Posted: 19th, September 2002 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink