Going To Potteries

‘FOR some years now the north of England has been blowing its own euphonium.

‘Got any more of that funny roe, ma’am?’

The people are more friendly than in the south, so the hype goes, the houses are more affordable and the people want for nowt.

But, as the Guardian reveals, plans are afoot to return the north to its grim industrial past, to bury it under a mountain of rubbish collected in the green pastures of Sussex.

It seems that the rich south is so full of empty cartons of foie gras and Harvey Nichols own-brand salmon that East Sussex and Brighton and Hove councils are looking for new places to dump their waste. And Stoke-on-Trent is on the list.

Nothing is heard from the people of Stoke, although they must surely be excited that they might soon be in touching and sniffing distance of some of what the south has to offer.

Indeed, any Stoke resident wishing to upgrade their rubbish bin to reflect a more sophisticated palate, can contact us and, for a small fee, we will send them our weekly special, which this week is an empty bottle of mineral water.

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Posted: 12th, May 2003 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink