Fatness First

‘TAKING a look at mugshots of Clare Short, it’s a wonder she ever made it into Tony’s photogenic new Labour movement.

Another fat pig

Perhaps she was there to add the common touch, to show the large of frame that you can still make it? But the heavy boned are not always wanted even in a minor role.

Take the Times’ front-page news about how health club Fitness First, somewhat ironically billed as ‘Britain’s biggest fitness club chain’, sent out a controversial memo to staff.

From the computer of one Lisa Somerville, human resources director of the firm, the internal note reads: ‘Mike Balfour [chief executive] has asked me all to remind you that uniforms should not be requested over a size 16 as this is adding considerable costs onto our merchandising budget as we have to bulk buy.’

Looking past the poor sentence structure and the cheap joke on bulk buying, the news seems to suggest that fat staff are not wanted in the health club.

But, reassuringly, those turned away by the gym can join the police force.

Staying with the fat theme, the Telegraph says that 14-stone and 5ft 8in PC Jack Montague, has been awarded £100 compensation for ‘mental anguish’ after a heartless yob called him ‘fat’.

Emerging victorious, and plump, from a youth court in Cumbria, Montague spoke through the pain.

‘Coppers have feelings too,’ he blurted out, ‘and I’m just glad the magistrates have taken the unusual step of recognising that.’

So the next time you want to insult a copper, remember that there’s something approaching a human being inside the pointy hat and bovver boots.

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Posted: 13th, May 2003 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink