England Expects The Worst

‘HERES a headline to instil fear and dread in the hearts of England’s footballing foe: ”Neville is England linchpin.” And that’s Phil not Gary.

Phil won’t be taking over Becks’ modelling engagements

The Mail says that Phil Neville is the ”anchor” in England’s midfield. Tonight against Serbia-Montenegro, Phil will give the England team the cohesion and solid foundation they need to succeed.

Come on, take your head out of your hands. Phil’s not a bad lad – he’s a darn sight better that the yobs who follow the national side.

And they’ve been occupying the mind of England striker Michael Owen.

Speaking to the Star, Owen is concerned that the behaviour of England fans will see the side banished from Euro 2004.

”Just think what a summer it will be like if we missed out because we were banned,” says Owen.

People living in Portugal, where the Euro championships are to be played, will be excused of imagining a great summer – a season of joy, street carnivals of colour, culture and fun.

But for the English, who like their summers spent smashing up Lisbon, it would be a tragedy.

Of course, you don’t have to go abroad to be a public nuisance – not when you’re a boxer like Herbie Hide.

The Sun catches up with the man who caused mayhem at Audley Harrison’s last fight and asks him what’s what.

”I’m not denying that I’m nuts,” says Herbie, ”but, unfortunately for him it’s his job to box people like me.”

The ”him” is the aforesaid Harrison, who seems to have chosen to box Frank Bruno over Hide.

In any case, if boxing promoter Frank Warren has his way, Hide will be banned from boxing anyone.

”He is a bully,” says Warren, failing to say whether that is a good or bad thing in boxing. ”He should be banned from boxing,” he adds for good measure.

And so he should – hitting people and staring fights is just not on.

‘

Posted: 3rd, June 2003 | In: Back pages Comment | TrackBack | Permalink