We’re All Screwed

‘FOR a nation that is supposed to prefer a cup of tea to sex, we’re doing a pretty good job of catching syphilis and gonorrhoea from a pot of Earl Gray.

Page 3 girl Michelle says ‘no’ to syphilis

According to the Sun, ”sex is killing Britain”, with the country in the grip of ”a terrifying explosion in sexual diseases”.

VD clinics are apparently so snowed under that thousand seeking treatment are being turned away, with MPs blaming increased promiscuity for the situation.

Cases of syphilis are up 500% in the past six years, although admittedly it is still very rare.

AIDS cases have jumped by 203%, chlamydia by 108% and gonorrhoea by 86% – meaning there are now more people in the country with the disease than there are who can spell it.

So where does this leave the Sun, the paper that has promised a £50,000 bounty to the first (heterosexual) couple to have sex on Big Brother?

Appalled, that’s what. Appalled that in 2000 women boasted of having an average of 6.5 sexual partners, compared with 3.7 in 1990.

Appalled that in 2000 men claimed to have slept with an average of 12.7 different women, compared with 8.6 in 1990.

Appalled that the average age for losing one’s virginity has fallen from 17 to 16.

Appalled that the number of men paying for sex more than doubled between 1990 and 2000.

Appalled that 9% of women and 14.6% of men were seeing two sexual partners at the same time during 2000 – a rise from 5.4% and 11.4% in 1990.

And appalled that they can’t find an excuse to use a picture of a naked woman to illustrate the story.

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Posted: 11th, June 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink