A New Jordan
‘HAVE you ever thought what we would do if – God forbid – something were to happen to Jordan?
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| The pride of Essex |
Who would step into her white stilettos if, say, one of her pneumatic breasts developed a slow puncture?
It is a question that has been troubling the editors of the nation’s red-tops – until now.
Even the newly serious Mirror is quick to hail the arrival of Jodie Marsh, splashing a picture of the scantily-clad ex-lapdancer on its front page.
”Jodie: The New Jordan (Without The Brains),” it says, before going on to award her an unprecedented 11/10 on the sleazometer.
Jordan, by contrast, only gets 10/10 – comfortably more than Alicia Douvall or Emma Jones, but no longer is she the undisputed Queen Of Sleaze.
As if to rub it in, the Star devotes its centre pages to 24-year-old Jodie, who has clearly learnt all Jordan’s tricks and added a few more of her own.
There is the array of almost famous boyfriends – Kian from Westlife, Callum Best and current squeeze, Adee from The Salon.
There are, of course, the skimpy outfits, and the obligatory flash of her knickers to the waiting photographers.
The Star is impressed – ”Jodie, who first hit our screens in the hit reality TV show, Essex Wives, has even managed to out-raunch Jordan in the dress to impress stakes,” it says.
As is the Mirror, which salutes the latest graduate from the college of how to get famous without talent.
”With her peroxide hair and ability to flash loads of flesh, former pole dancer Jodie Marsh was clearly an excellent pupil,” it says.
It’s good to see that she will have something to fall back on if her career as the new Jordan doesn’t work out…
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Posted: 12th, June 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
