Nanny From Hell

‘POOR Ashley’s not very good at picking women. First he marries Weatherfield’s very own open-all-hours leisure centre (Maxine), then he goes and hires the nanny from The Hand That Rocks The Cradle.

”One across…Someone who cooks rabbits (5,6)”

Claire seemed a nice enough girl (although she’s ginger so that should have set off warning bells), but is now showing all the signs of being one tube stop away from Barking.

Ashley has found himself the talk of the Street after someone phoned in a radio dedication to ”Ashley, from his girlfriend Claire,” and then placed a ‘Congratulations on your engagement’ notice in the paper.

”He’s moved a bit fast,” muttered Norris in the Rovers, hitching his bosom up, like Les Dawson in drag.

Ashley went round to confront Claire, who broke down in tears and admitted that her ex boyfriend Gary was ”the possessive type” and he’d done things like this in the past. Ashley promised to sort him out and put a comforting butcher’s arm around her. What odds on a Christmas-ratings wedding eh?

It’s unlikely Karen and Joe will make it that long in the relationship stakes. Not least because pictures of his leaving party were in the tabloids last week. Joe’s dastardly plan to take over Mike’s factory are working out well and Karen is having a serious crisis of conscience.

So far, Joe’s managed to swindle Mike out of £50,000, cancel the company credit cards and ensure that the insurance company won’t pay out for the stock he stole. Mike is convinced that his business rival, Naveen, is behind it all.

”I don’t know what I’d do without you Joe,” Mike told him. Be fifty grand better off for a start.

Todd is another one making very costly mistakes in his life. This week he decided to throw away his chances of going to university by walking out of his A-levels. He’s also throwing away the chances of seeing 21 as, when Eileen found out, she went absolutely mental.

”You’ve ruined your life for a schoolgirl so stupid she got herself knocked up at 12,” she ranted, referring to Todd’s girlfriend, Sarah Louise.

Someone should point out to Eileen that if she’s giving out awards for female stupidity, getting knocked up twice by two different men who then ran away should qualify her for a bronze medal at least.

‘

Posted: 12th, June 2003 | In: Strange But True Comment | TrackBack | Permalink