Eviction Night

‘OUT of pity for the dire tripe it is, we now turn our attention to Big Brother news.

Ray was desperate to keep the mental imgae of Vanessa Feltz stuck fast in his head

And the unsurprising story is that at least one of the housemates is an onanist.

This news is brought to you not by the Sport but by the Sun, which claims to have uncovered ”proof that randy Ray has been keeping his hand in”.

The claim is based on footage of ”hunky” Ray wandering to the toilet in the dead of night with his head and quivering flesh swathed in a duvet.

Keeping the duvet on while seated on the pot, Ray ”bobbed up and down” and indulged in some ”deep breathing”.

That Ray enacts his own nightly eviction is neither here nor there, but, having watched the show, we suggest that Ray has been gripped by the full fist of constipation.

Happily, the steady streams of verbal diarrhoea press on…’

Posted: 16th, June 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink