Fiddling The Cards

‘WE all know that Tony Blair may have played a bit fast and loose with the truth over Saddam Hussein’s weapons of mass destruction.

A marked card?

But can we be sure the Americans aren’t doing so with the ”pack of cards” they issued of Iraq’s 55 most wanted?

Yesterday, they claim to have arrested their highest card yet when they picked up Saddam Hussein’s chief bodyguard, Abid Hamid Mahmud al-Tikriti.

The Telegraph says the capture of the Ace Of Diamonds is an indication that the net could be closing in on the Ace Of Spades himself, Saddam Hussein.

”The Lieutenant General seldom left his leader’s side, and American officials expressed hopes that they could soon have Saddam in their sights,” it says.

But can we be sure the man said currently to under CIA interrogation is Abid Hamid Mahmud al-Tikriti?

The picture of him in the Telegraph comes from the card issued by the US military command and looks suspiciously like Peter Sellers, while the picture in the Guardian is a spitting image of a young John Cleese.

And if we look again at yesterday’s Times, which featured the 31 ”cards” in US hands, we see things are not quite as they seem.

For instance, Watban Ibrahim Hassan Al-Tikriti, the five of spades, is surely none other than Michael Caine.

Joe Pesci plays Muhammad Mahdi Al-Kalih, Burt Reynolds takes the role of Latif Nusayyif Jasim Al-Dulaymi and Robert Duvall appears as Muhammad Hamza Zubaydi.

And as for the queen of clubs, four of clubs and four of hearts, they are almost certainly one and the same person (played by John Inman).

They at least, we suppose, will come in useful in a game of snap.

‘

Posted: 19th, June 2003 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink