Croc On The Block

‘CONTRARY to what it looks like outside the window, the weather is getting warmer. So warm is it that a crocodile has been spotted basking in tropical Cannock, Staffordshire.

”Which way to Dudley?”

The Mirror shows the poster that now appears on the banks of Roman View pond, once a favoured haunt of swans, fish and Japanese tourists, but now eerily still.

”Croc on the loose!! 9 people have seen a croc in the lake. Beware their is defently a croc in the lake. Please keep a look out for the croc.”

And, we deduce, an even keener eye out for a dictionary.

Of course, stupidity does not end with poor spelling, especially when a crocodile is on the loose. And the Mail duly dispatches its own Paul Harris to bag the beast.

Under the name Crocodile Dudley, the Mail’s man went to the West Midlands armed with a net, a large hat and a desire to one day be a serious reporter on a proper paper.

Despite these painstaking preparations, Harris failed to make any contact with the critter.

We can only pray that Jeffrey Archer has more luck when he is smeared in horseradish and lowered in a cardboard cage into the murky depths.

‘

Posted: 19th, June 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink