Call Me Al

”’HAPPY birthday to you, happy birthday to you, you look like James Hewitt and so you should too.”

”Happy birthday, young Hewitt…”

Oh, what fun we had when Harry turned 18. And now that it’s Wills turn to hit a big number – he’s 21 tomorrow – we can surely expect much of the same.

Helping us get ready to serenade the Prince, the Express relates the history of Happy Birthday, the world’s most popular song.

Sadly, the paper fails to translate the words into Swahili, a language Wills is known to be studying, and perhaps a reason why his birthday party has an African theme.

The Mail reproduces a cut-out-and-blag invitation of the type sent to a ”hand-picked” list of 300 guests, although it later admits that it is fake, so anyone brandishing said item can expect a sobering experience in the Windsor Castle moat – and that includes you, Mr Nigel Dempster.

The night kicks off at 7:30 and guests are asked to ”Dress Out of Africa”.

What a hoot it will be to see the likes of Davina Duckworth-Chad, who changed her name just for this party (what a gel), and assorted Tarquins and Janes get into the swing of things.

People like jungle explorer Tara Palmer-Tomkinson, who will surely be pleased to see that Harry’s chum Guy Pelly, patron of the Rattlebone Inn, is at the do.

But one man will be missing. Okay, two, for James Hewitt’s name is not on the list (well, three – for nor is Will Carling’s), but we refer to the Harrods’ boss and bon vivant Mohammed Al Fayed.

The Mail asks whether or not the shop owner was invited by Wills. According to Mo’s friends (and aren’t we all?), Wills wanted him there but Charles took his name off the list.

”How could William invite a man who says his grandfather conspired to kill his mother?” asks an incredulous Palace flunky.

The paper fails to find a suitable answer, and just concludes that ”William’s thinking processes remain a mystery”.

Which makes him his mother’s son through and through…

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Posted: 20th, June 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink