Turning The Other Cheek

‘IF you really want to be famous, you should apply now while stocks last for the new Anorak Eazy Ass. This simple padded backside slips into the gusset of even the skimpiest thong to give you the J-Lo cleavage you’ve always craved.

Putting the ass in class

The original J-Lo Back’N’Pack is modelled by the diva in this week’s Enquirer.

But Ben Affleck, Jenn’s husband to be (Mark III), is sick of people obsessing over the backside of his beloved. He wants J-Lo to tidy up her image and show the real her.

So her manager Benny Medina has been sacked. He was, apparently, responsible for creating an image of the singer that was way off base.

Ben wants us to know that ”in the physical sense, she is extremely chaste”. He reminds us that Jenn has only ever had five boyfriends.

So Ben is setting about changing Jenn’s image. Following Medina out the door, and down driveway strewn with the orchid petals, are Jenn’s publicist Alan Nierob and her agent Patrick Whitesell.

And the amazing thing is that Jen has agreed to Ben’s demands. ”She’s telling friends she’ll do whatever it takes to get him to the altar,” says a source.

She’s putting her past behind her. And thanks to Anorak technology, you can put it behind you, too.

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Posted: 28th, June 2003 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink