Moore In The Raw

‘DO you know why Demi Moore is ”looking better than ever”? Doctors Nip ‘n’ Tuck have had a hand and a few stitches in the anti-ageing process.

”Did Bruce make you feel this alive, Demi?”

But the real reason is that she is one of the many to have taken up the ”hottest new diet”.

This diet is so hot that it has led to Demi losing 15lbs and given her all the energy she needs to survive the rigours of lipo, rhino and, for those troublesome imperfections, brillo.

And the key word is ”raw”. ”Raw food in Demi’s secret to staying young forever,” says an unnamed source.

To help us see this truth, the Enquirer raids Demi’s attic and produces a picture of a woman with generous hips and ”cottage cheese” thighs.

The difference is marked. It’s chalk and cottage cheese.

But thanks to ”raw-food guru” Juliano Brotman we can now all eat and live like Demi.

”Elephants and gorillas never eat protein in their lives. They just eat leaves and water,” says Brotman. In his unpolluted, protein free mind, this news should make us ”stop obsessing about protein”.

So if you want to look like an elephant or a gorilla you can. And if want to look like Demi, you can lose the trunk and excess hair at a decent cosmetic surgery.

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Posted: 30th, June 2003 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink