Vicki Says Maybe Baby

‘TAKE a tip from me: if you’re having trouble conceiving, move to Walford. There must be something in the water down there as every woman who has sex once gets pregnant. First there was Michelle, then Sonia, then Laura and now Vicki’s the latest miracle of fertility.

”Hurry up, dad!”

Vicki is pregnant after a one-night stand (or rather five-minute lie-down) with Spencer in a snooker hall. She’s sensibly decided to have a termination but Sharon has other ideas. Sharon confided in her that after a botched abortion, she can never have kids.

”Don’t make the same mistake I did, Vicki,” she sobbed over Pauline’s kitchen table. Vicki remained unmoved though, so Sharon decided to offer her £10,000 to have the baby. That’s a heck of a lot more than the Kilshaws paid – and they got two.

Over at the Vic, Alfie was doing his best to prevent the pattering of tiny feet (or hooves in the case of him and Kat) by going on a midnight run to find a condom.

Kat finally confessed to him that she’d started to fancy him. ”I’m crazy abaht yer,” she told him, after turning up on his doorstep at midnight. ”I’m yours if yer want me.”

Like any right-thinking man, he led Kat upstairs and then legged it out the Vic. Unfortunately for him – and us – he’d only gone as far as the chemist to get some condoms.

There then followed an excruciating episode on the trails of Alfie Moon as he tried unsuccessfully to get a condom, witnessing a robbery in a convenience store, falling into the river and getting arrested.

He ended up bumping into an old tramp – masterfully played by Cherie Booth’s father Tony – who happened to have a spare rubber.

”I may be old, but I’m still always careful,” he told Alfie. If only he’d been so careful in real life, eh?

‘

Posted: 30th, June 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink