Helping The Aged

‘AT Anorak, we pride ourselves on our non-discriminatory employment policy – young, old, black, white, man, woman, human, ape…they all get paid the same pittance.

‘Aisle 7? I forget, dear’

So we are glad to see that the Government has at last decided to crack down on ageism at work.

For too long, old people have got away with skiving off work as soon as they hit 60 (or 65 in the case of men) before embarking on a life of endless bingo, Saga holidays and Bakewell tarts.

What is worse, they insist on getting paid a pension to live this life of Riley, while clogging up the health system with their unceasing ailments and the sewerage system with their incessant outpourings.

So, we can only congratulate Trade And Industry Secretary Patricia Hodge when we read in the Times that ‘millions of older people will get new rights under proposals to be unveiled today that outlaw age discrimination’.

These include the right to remain silent (especially about anything that happened before 1990), the right voluntarily to end their own lives (or involuntarily if it is decided that they’re spending too much of their children’s inheritance) and the right to regular toilet breaks.

In return, says the paper, ‘many people may also be forced into staying at work until they are 70’.

In the Telegraph, Miss Hewitt criticised advertisers for playing to the cult of youth and said in future employers would not be able to say ‘young and energetic person wanted’ or ‘only mature people need apply’.

However, employers will no doubt find it very easy to get round these rules.

Simply asking applicants at interview to name the members of Blue or five different types of ecstasy pill should do the trick…

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Posted: 2nd, July 2003 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink