Time Out For Tim

‘SO now Tim Henman is free to concentrate on the league, or whatever it is tennis players do when they’ve crashed out of the knock-out events.

‘There’s always someone who leaves early to miss the traffic…’

Henman is good enough to be the best British player in a sport, but is unlucky to have chosen the sport of tennis.

Even his most die-hard fans, the menopausal Henmaniacs who ooh and aaahh with each volley and lob, have no idea what he does for the other 50 weeks and three or four days of the year beyond Wimbledon fortnight.

Do his parents travel the world watching young Tim? Does his mum, Jane, pack up her range of tennis clothing and open her car boot in Madrid, Manila and other tennis spots?

Does Tim’s dad, Tony, sit there impassive as a stuffed turbot at the other Grand Slam events, as he does at Wimbledon?

There was a story that someone saw Tim’s dad move. But on further examination it proved to be wind.

And if you wonder how Motionless Tony gets to his Centre Court seat, we hear that it’s partly down to the magic of Wimbledon and part Stena technology.

(Tony never leaves the seat, but just descends into a cavity beneath the stands where he waits for the first union Jack of summer.)

Tim’s wife Lucy can’t be expected to travel the world in pursuit of her man – the pair have a child, and uprooting the little ‘un is not easy.

Besides, having your children see you at work is nice once but who’d want them there every day?

So with few witnesses, we can only guess what Tim does beyond Wimbledon.

Some cable TV station follows the ATP Tour, on which Tim is, apparently, a player, but if they can mock up the 1969 moon landings in a TV studio in Teddington, they can make Tim play tennis in Dubai.

So, farewell, Tim, it is time to get back into your box.

Next year you will be one year older, and we will be a year wiser. You might win Wimbledon; you might not.

The only thing for certain is that in 2004 Henman will still be the British No.1 by a country mile, and that tennis will still be something that goes well with Pimm’s.

Although a cucumber sandwich is a close second…

‘

Posted: 4th, July 2003 | In: Back pages Comment | TrackBack | Permalink