Murder On The Dancefloor

‘WHEN Ayatollah Khomeini issued his fatwa against Salman Rushdie he did not specify how he wanted the author of the Satanic Verses killed.

The Devil can’t dance

Would Rushdie be blown to smithereens or, perhaps, fall victim to something more dastardly, like being trapped in the Big Brother House?

And then came Padma Lakshmi. There is no suggestion that the leggy 32-year-old Indian actress is a member of some Iranian hit squad, but the pictures of her dancing with boyfriend Salman have dealt a fatal blow to his credibility.

The Mail was at the fundraising event at London’s Serpentine Gallery, where, triggered by hearing the first bar of Sophie Ellis Bextor’s Murder On The Dancefloor, Padma took her man for a spin.

There then follows death by a thousand dance steps, all of them with Salman’s left feet.

The Mirror manages to get even closer to the action. The paper sees Padma cock a leg around Rushdie’s thigh. Rushdie responds with a move beloved of all men with no rhythm and bites down hard on his bottom lip.

She rubs up close, executing a silky pelvis thrust. Rushdie does likewise, but feeling his stomach in the way, simply drops his hands by his sides and smiles.

Looking for salvation, he spots the camera. Salman looks up for some kind of help. But the Mirror’s cameraman just snaps even more. Nothing can save him.

Next week, a final blow is delivered when Salman is pictured on a French beach in a leopard-print thong.

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Posted: 4th, July 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink