The Holy Roman Empire

‘WE must begin by thanking Roman Abramovich for arriving on these shores, buying Chelsea and, in threatening to buy just about every footballer in the world, drive David Beckham from the backpages.

‘Hmmm – it’ll make a great site for luxury flats’

Abramovich, a confirmed Zionist, is every inch the Messiah. Thank God for him.

And so to today’s Chelsea news, and the Sun’s story of how the Blues are ready to buy Manchester United’s Mekon man, Juan Sebastian Veron, for £14m.

The paper says that the deal is done and the Argentine is on his way to London.

This is good news for Chelsea who have been labouring under the false impression that Frank Lampard will deliver the midfield skill to win championship medals.

Meanwhile, the Mail reminds its suspicious readership that Veron once played under Sven Goran Eriksson at Lazio. Put two and two together and you have an England manager who could leave his post to take over at the Bridge.

The only trouble with this story is that Eriksson has issued a statement saying he is committed to England.

But, with this being the Mail and Sven being foreign, the FA are advised by the paper to summon their manager home from Sweden immediately.

Another man who could be on the move is West Ham’s Joe Cole. The Sun says that Cole could be off to Barcelona for £20m. Or he could just stay at home with his mum in Romford.

If sports fans want to see athletes who really travel they should look to the Express and the Tour de France.

The Tour is a great spectacle, taking in dramatic scenery, edge-of-the-seat racing and French people determined to get run over.

But the man to watch is Lance Armstrong, competing to win his fifth straight title. The Express reports that the Texan now leads the Tour, having taken over the yellow jersey from Frenchman Richard Virenque.

Armstrong is keen to do well and says that he is flattered by the Chelsea offer, but must wait until the race is over before considering his options…

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Posted: 14th, July 2003 | In: Back pages Comment | TrackBack | Permalink