Kitten Fight

‘BIG bosomed Hot Stars columnist Kerry Katona has a lot to get off her oversized chest this week and not even her husband can escape her acid tongue.

Bryan McFadden

First off, however, it is David Beckham and his beautiful wife Victoria who feels the sharpness of the former Atomic Kitten’s claws.

Our Kerry lambastes poor old Dave for getting Dolce & Gabbana to bring his shopping out to the car to save him going into ths shop.

‘I think he’s been married to Posh Spice for too long and he wants to get himself a real bird – a good old, down-to-earth Northerner,’ says the good old, down-to-earth Northerner.

‘His behaviour was just ridiculous.’

Next in the firing line is Caprice, who is ‘quite boring’ and will be ‘crap at acting’.

And finally it is the turn of Calum Best, who ‘will turn up to the opening of an envelope’, is ‘arrogant’ and not all that good-looking, to get a mauling.

Calum has apparently been complaining that he can’t find a proper girlfriend because they all think he’s a tart – which he is.

‘I don’t think there’s a man in the world who has all those women hanging around him who doesn’t take them home and give them one!’

Certainly not Kerry’s husband, Bryan McPadding – and it looks as if Kerry still hasn’t forgiven him for sleeping with a lapdancer on his stag night.

McPudding may look to most of the world like Anna Nicole Smith with a thyroid problem, but Kerry thinks he looks like her.

Man breasts he may have, but please…

‘

Posted: 14th, July 2003 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink