Between A Rock And A Hard Face

‘POOR Peter Barlow: stuck between a rock (Shelly) and a hard face (Lucy). With his wedding only a couple of weeks away, he’s dithering like an out-of-contract West Ham player.

‘Come into my kennel…’

Shelly’s mum Bev is getting suspicious and later this week she manages to get Ciaran to confess that Peter ‘was’ involved with someone else.

Apparently producers have shot three different endings to Shelly’s wedding day scenes but it’s a fairly safe bet that whatever happens, Peter’s not going to be capable of fathering any more children for a long, long time.

The mighty Karen McDonald is back where she belongs – with Steve and propping up the Rovers’ bar with a pint in her hand.

At the moment she’s eating humble pie as Janice, Mike and Fizz rage at her for her failed scheme to put them all out of jobs, but this is Karen – she always ends up on top (which as we all know is her favourite position).

‘Don’t worry love,’ Steve comforted her, ‘you won’t be public enemy number one for long.’ And how right he was; within the space of an episode, reigning champion Tracy Barlow regained that title.

Tracy has made a bet with Bev that she can get Roy Cropper into bed and is pulling out all her best seduction techniques. Which strangely seem to consist of her leering at Roy in The Rovers and offering him driving lessons.

Hayley could bear it no longer and tipped a bucket of ice over her. ‘What’s the matter?’ sneered Tracy. ‘Frightened of competition from a real woman, one with ovaries and breasts?’

I fear, gentle reader, that we’re in for much worse from Ms Barlow, as she drugs Roy and rapes him in the next couple of weeks.

There’s more sexual scandal in the Street as Martin succumbs to the ‘charms’ of Katy and sleeps with her later this week. There’s a lot been made about this ‘shocking’ storyline but anyone who’s seen her can testify that Katy’s actually 112 in dog years.

Especially with her new hair do, she’s a dead ringer for Doreen from Birds of a Feather. Martin made his move at the hospital disco where Katie’s working in the canteen. ‘I can’t help the way I feel,’ he told her.

Don’t worry Martin, you won’t have that problem soon – when dad Tommy finds out, you won’t have any feeling at all as he breaks every bone in your body.

‘

Posted: 14th, July 2003 | In: Strange But True Comment | TrackBack | Permalink