He’s Back

‘AFTER failing to even get off with Kat, Dr Anthony finally realised his chances at a storyline were zero and has left for Croatia – he’s heard it’s far less miserable than life in Walford.

‘Stone me! It’s Mr Potato Head with a spud gun’

Paul mentioned to Alfie that Anthony had left after a final fling with Kat, which lead to Alfie and Kat’s second break-up in almost as many episodes.

‘If yew can’t trust me, it’s ovfer,’ huffed Kat as she stormed out of the Walford Tandoori, causing diners to hold onto their tables as she wobbled past.

Alfie and Kat’s relationship has been on and off more times than Jodie Marsh’s knickers – and it’s about as interesting as Ms Marsh.

Kelly’s relationship with Tariq is also over, when he overheard Zoe talking to Kat about Kelly’s past as a prostitute. ‘It’s not fair,’ wailed Zoe, ‘How come Kelly gets a second chance after years on the game – and I’ve got no one?’

Perhaps it’s precisely because Kelly was on the game that she knows how to keep a man: although to be fair a woman doesn’t have to be a professional – she should just ask her mother for some tips.

The Square is treading water at the moment though as it gears up for it’s big storyline of the year – the worst kept secret since Gareth Gates made Jordan promise not to tell, the return of Dirty Den.

Dennis Junior sets up his return by taking out his arch-enemy, Dalton. EastEnders has gone a bit ‘Lock Stock’ at the moment (and about as believable), with ‘shooters’, gangsters, pool halls and hit men.

Dennis is owed twenty grand from Dalton for going to prison for him, but Dalton’s not keen on paying (he needs all his money for his pies), so decides to call in the favour Phil owes him.

Phil can’t bring himself to kill Dennis so gives Dennis the gun and tells him it’s his chance to ‘sort’ Dalton out for good.

Dalton, it transpires, was responsible for ordering the hit on Dirty Den and, once he’s dead, it means that Den can escape from having to present Fort Boyard on Channel 5 and return to Walford – thus exchanging one make believe land of midgets, freaks and losers for another.

‘

Posted: 18th, July 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink