House Of Cards

‘WHILE Cherie Blair delivers a jolly Pop Idol rendition of When I’m 64, the troops in the Gulf are listing to the very metal sounds of the Ace of Spades.

Little did George know that Tony had four of a kind

Cherie and Tone appear like those generals of the First World War, sipping their tea and eating their apple strudel while the frontline troops are peppered with bullets and dine on rat a la trench.

But the news from the Iraqi camps is what interests the Guardian foremost, as it reports that Saddam Hussein’s sons, Uday and Qusay, are dead.

Killed by US Special Forces following a tip off that will, apparently, net the grass $30m, the Times says that the ‘dynasty dies with Saddam’s vicious heirs’.

The Times goes on to list the achievements of the two lovely boys in a piece unequivocally given the title ‘Reign Of Terror’.

It seems harsh but the campaign to create fear in the minds of all around them began on the very days the two were born, Uday in 1964 and Qusay in 1966.

Things went from bad to worse in 1980, when Uday announced his intention to study nuclear physics. Four years later he graduated from Baghdad University with an engineering degree and an average score of 98.5%.

You imagine that the rogue 1.5% was found, tortured and then shot in a very pubic execution.

The pair then continued to grow in power until Qusay, as Iraq’s security chief, was given the title the Ace of Clubs.

Uday, helpfully described by the paper as the ‘al-Qaeda link’, was made honorary Ace of Hearts, on account of his dashing and full beard.

But the Independent reminds us that the Ace of Spades, Saddam Hussein, lives on. And, incidentally, he’s 66, not 64 as previously thought.

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Posted: 23rd, July 2003 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink