Brussels Spouts

‘SLOWLY but surely the Brussels machine is softening us up for a possible takeover.

And the wire’s not the regulation 3.2cm thick…

Take the Times’ news of Goussein Khamdoulaev, a funambulist (tight-rope walker) who has been told that he must wear a hard hat in future performances.

The guidance form Brussels has not gone down well with the great Khamdoulaev, who is used to somersaulting 50ft above the heads of his equally bareheaded audience twice daily in the Moscow State Circus.

His manager calls the directive ‘ridiculous’ and says that ‘common sense has clearly gone out of the window’.

Common sense might have little to do in this story of a man who flips between pieces of wire high in the air with no safety net, but you get the idea.

And so to another tale, also in the Times, which tells how Glasgow City Council has decided that in future all pubs and clubs in the area will serve drinks in non-glass glasses.

Last year there were 81 incidents of glassing in Glasgow (there were over 5,000 in the entire UK) and the council say it has a ‘moral duty’ to order the uptake of plastic alternatives.

If the patrons could only wear hard hats as well, as with the stupendous Khamdoulaev, yet more wounds could be prevented.

Although, the traditional Glasgow greeting would also have to be outlawed…

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Posted: 23rd, July 2003 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink