Bread Sauce

‘REMEMBER that advert for Hovis, when the little delivery boy climbs up the hill to deliver a loaf at some ungodly hour to the old biddy at top of our street who was too lazy to walk?

‘A quick shag and then home for tea’

Well, if he’d have followed another route the lad could have passed the home of Michael Chubb, a 55-year-old retired army major who used his humble dwelling as a brothel.

The aptly-named town of Shaftesbury in Dorset, which is home to Gold Hill, was also home to this den of vice, in which Mr Chubb ran his business, Complete Excellence.

For £500 a night, visitors chez Chubb could indulge in a sensual massage followed by dinner with the house’s ‘star attraction’, Chubb’s partner, Jill Bywater.

Yesterday, Chubb was given an eight-month suspended sentence for living off immoral earnings and running a brothel.

He said he had embarked on the 18-month venture to enable him to afford the £17,000-a-year fees to send his daughter to the nearby Bryanston School.

But the best bit is the advert for the now defunct cottage industry.

‘If you are visiting England,’ reads the blurb, ‘why not take the ultimate tourist experience and share an English Rose?’

And a slice of complimentary wholemeal bread…

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Posted: 23rd, July 2003 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink