Jail Breaks

‘NO sooner does one famous prisoner get out than another makes a dash for freedom. Almost treading on the heels of Jeffrey Archer is Tony Martin, the farmer jailed for killing a burglar.

Farmers enforce a strict ‘no trainers’ policy at the local barn dance

The Telegraph says that Martin has been transferred to a safe house – presumably one with an alarm system and no loaded firearms – in readiness for his release on Monday.

Before he goes, the Prison Service would do well to canvass the man on his experiences at Highpoint jail, Suffolk.

His opinions could then be included in their league table of the best and worst places to be locked up.

Thanks to the undercover work of the aforesaid Archer, the Times can tell us that the top prison to be in is Altcourse, Liverpool. ‘Staff are helpful and friendly,’ says the brochure.

The least desirable prison to be in – other than anywhere Archer is at work – is Holloway, London. Anyone considering a break in the women’s prison should know that ‘there is still a cockroach problem on some wings’.

The survey omits to mention which wings, but we have asked Jeff and he assures us that Wing C is the pick of the bunch, with Cells H and G offering the best views on the Himalayas, which he memorably conquered in the 1940s.

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Posted: 25th, July 2003 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink