Major Pain

‘REMEMBER Major Charles Ingram, the quiz show contestant who won and then lost a million?

It’s not a hamster – it’s a rat

Well, he’s now lost his job, having been ordered to resign his Army commission by a military tribunal.

The Times gives the brighter news that Ingram can keep his £13,000 annual pension and a ‘gratuity’ of up to £30,000, a trinket open to anyone who has served in the Army for over 16 years. Ingram has served for 17 years.

‘I am not, and never have been a spy for the Chinese Government,’ says Ingram as he spoke with the Times. ‘Also, regretfully, I am not contracted to advertise any brand of cough medicine.’

But will he still keep his rank? The paper uses the Ingram case to highlight other majors who have hung onto the title long after leaving the job.

The ‘cad’ Major James Hewitt gets a mention as does Major Major, the epitome of mediocrity in Joseph Heller’s Catch 22, and the Major in TV’s Fawlty Towers, a man condemned to ‘live out his days in a bad hotel’.

Of course, if Ingram breaks the terms of his suspended jail sentence, he could soon be in a hotel himself.

We hear from Jeffrey Archer that Hollesley Bay offers a great budget deal…

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Posted: 25th, July 2003 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink