Not So Lucky, Lucky, Lucky

‘IT’S not just the Star’s avid readership that likes to see the back of Kylie Minogue, but it appears that her boyfriends do too.

Kylie, out on her (shapely) arse again

The latest man to give Kylie the bum’s rush is Olivier Martinez, who, according to the Star’s front page, has dumped the singing pixie in favour of Angelina Jolie.

The paper goes on to say that Kylie, who had flown to Los Angeles to be with the French actor, is ‘devastated’ that she won’t be attending the premiere of his film S.W.A.T.

She should console herself with news that the film sounds pretty awful and, when it (soon) arrives on video, she can fast forward it to the few nanoseconds of action that actually feature Martinez.

But she’s still upset and is said to have shredded the £4,000 gown she was going to wear to the film’s premiere.

This prompts the Express to explain over a double page: ‘Why Kylie’s So Unlucky in Love.’ Readers learn that ‘since Michael Hutchence, she’s gone for the same type of unsuitable man’.

And this is a problem because, according to Kylie’s biographer, Virginia Blackburn, Kylie ‘imitates her partner’.

Pictures of Kylie indulging her passion for autoerotic asphyxiation, like Hutchence, are sadly unavailable, as too are shots of her taking drugs in the manner of old flame Jason Donovan.

But could Kylie be living a lie, like the, apparently, cheating Martinez?

In the Sun, Kylie says ‘I’m so happy with him’, when asked about her French lover. She then adds that ‘things couldn’t be better’.

But listen to the words of the Star’s ‘love rat’ Martinez. When once asked what he’d do if a future wife cheated on him, he was forthright: ‘First of all I kill the wife. Then I kill the guy and at the end I kill myself.’

Sounds like Kylie’s dress won’t be the last thing to be cut to ribbons…

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Posted: 31st, July 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink