Kelly’s Heroes

‘IT’S not known if, like the White House, Downing Street has a private cinema.

Dr Kelly thought he was a World War I flying ace

If it does, you can bet that among the Billy Graham Collection, Thora Hird Out-Takes and the locked-away Stripping For Jesus is The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.

This film, in which a humble man with a mother complex fantasises about being a hero, is required watching among the Blair elite, as it is an important point of reference.

For the Independent is sticking by its story that one of Tony Blair’s team described dead scientist Dr David Kelly as a ‘Walter Mitty character’.

But it’s a claim refuted by the No.10 machine in the Telegraph.

‘I don’t know where this comment has came from,’ said Tony Blair’s spokesman yesterday morning, ‘but we do want to make it absolutely clear that nobody with either the Prime Minister’s or anybody else in Downing Street’s approval would say such a thing.’

That is indeed absolutely clear.

As is the Government’s position later in the day that a comment just might have been made and that, if it had been, then it was not the official Government view, although it may very well be one cooked up in private and voiced by another of Tony’s spokesmen, Tom Kelly.

Tony Blair, who by sheer coincidence is still out of the country while the Kelly row rolls on, would do well to replace his video collection.

And if he wants some advice, he should consult the Telegraph, which has learnt which movies are most requested in the White House.

Of 5,000 flicks shown by the official White House projectionist, Bill Clinton watched High Noon 30 times, while Dwight Eisenhower asked for three screenings.

Richard Nixon preferred to lose himself in 1930s and 40s musicals, whereas Ronald Reagan liked Casablanca, Roman Holiday and Bedtime For Bonzo.

Bringing things up to date, the paper says that Saving Private Ryan is an all-time favourite of George W Bush.

He also loves Austin Powers who, like George, is something an international man of mystery.

After all, just how on earth was he made president – if that is indeed what he really is? Walter Mitty, over to you…

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Posted: 5th, August 2003 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink