The J-Lo Down

‘TWO bits of bad news for Jennifer Lopez this morning – not only does her relationship with Ben Affleck appear to be history, but she has lost out to Kylie in the battle of the bums.

‘Sexiest woman in soap? That’s a good one!’

According to the Mirror, Kylie has the best bottom in history, rating a perfect 5/5, compared with the 4/5 awarded to J-Lo, Cameron Diaz and the Athena poster girl.

So it’s no wonder Ben Affleck has been looking elsewhere for his entertainment, with the Mail reporting that the big-chinned actor has been caught frolicking with strippers.

That at least is the claim in the National Enquirer, which says it has CCTV footage of the 30-year-old misbehaving in a nightclub in Vancouver.

Affleck denies the allegation, but his big-arsed fiancee clearly doesn’t believe him and has called off the wedding – only days after he splashed out over $1m on birthday presents for her.

The Mail says J-Lo, whose new movie Gigli (in which she co-stars with Affleck) has been described as the worst film of all time, is no longer wearing the £700,000 25-carat pink diamond and platinum engagement ring Affleck gave her last year.

But someone who is sporting an engagement ring (although admittedly only a £7 version from Ratners) is Jessie Wallace, aka EastEnders’ Kat Slater.

The Sun has the ‘exclusive’ news on its front page that the 31-year-old actress has agreed to marry her 28-year-old policeman lover, PC Dave Morgan.

Which is a coincidence because the Mirror also has the ‘exclusive’ news on its front page.

What both papers agree on, however, is that Jessie, who met PC Morgan when she appeared in court on a drink-driving charge, is thrilled.

And that her bum is about three times the size of Kylie’s…

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Posted: 6th, August 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink