Phil Fingers Dennis

‘IT’S not often one feels sorry for Phil Mitchell, but waking up to find a naked fat nanny in your bed has got to be pretty distressing.

Barry, Janine and Natalie enjoy a rousing game of piggy in the middle

Joanne has been turning progressively madder. She’s gone from a good Convent girl to a bed-hopping, leopard skin-wearing, drunken loon. That’s what living in Walford does to a person.

Egged on by Zoe and Kelly, Joanne decided to vamp up her image to impress Phil. Unfortunately she’s been reading the Kat Slater Guide To Impressing Your Man and went out and bought a leopard skin dress/pigskin that even Bet Lynch would turn her nose up at.

At Martin’s 18th birthday party she decided she was going to go home and declare her love for Phil. Upon finding Kate asleep on the sofa, she took off her clothes and got into bed with Phil. ”I love ya,” she slurred to a startled Phil.

Phil shouldn’t be surprised though – for dumpy mad women, he’s irresistible.

Kate and Phil fired her the next day. ”I want you gone by the time we’re back from ‘oliday,” he growled to a tearful Joanne. ”But this is my life,” she sobbed. ”No Joanne, this is MY life, you’ve just been borrowing it,” Phil retorted.

Phil is going to have more problems to deal with when he gets back from holiday as Dennis has discovered that it was he who grassed him up. Just as he was about to go on holiday,

Phil was bundled back into his house by Andy – Dalton’s second in command, demanding to know if Dennis had killed Dalton or not. ”’Is boys are angry and they’re tooled up,” he said, in best drama school Cockney.

Phil, fearing for the safety of Kate and Louise, tipped Andy the nod, thereby paving the return of Dirty Den who returns to save son Dennis from danger (and to save his bank balance after the panto offers dried up).

Elsewhere in The Square, Janine continues to milk Barry, like a giant cash cow. She and Paul went shopping on his money and he’s bought her a car.

Natalie is about to upset her plans, however, when she and Jack come down with flu and move in.

Laura still hasn’t told Garry that he can’t be the father of baby Bobby. He and Ricky went over to coo over the baby. ”E’s got a real look of my Liam about him,” said Ricky. Ricky – if only you knew how true that was.

‘

Posted: 8th, August 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink