Lager Tops

‘ON Saturday, the headline in the Star warned that there was only enough lager left in Britain to last 10 days.

”Two bottles of Hooch, a spliff, a couple of Es, a shag and strawberry sauce please, mate”

After the hottest weekend in the country’s history, we can only assume that a crisis is still impending and the country’s pubs will run dry this time next week.

This will of course be a tragedy in its own right, but it could have one wholly unexpected side-effect – it could make us all poorer.

According to the Telegraph, a study by Stirling University has discovered a link between drinking and money, with moderate boozers earning on average 17% more than teetotallers.

Even heavy drinkers (men who drink more than 50 units a week and women who drink more than 35) earned about 5% more than abstainers.

”The survey shows that you don’t want to be a teetotaller if you want to get on in your job,” says survey author Professor David Bell.

”People who drink moderately seem to earn more.”

It is advice that teenagers should take heed of, with the Telegraph also reporting that the nation’s yoof are having trouble finding summer jobs.

They are apparently getting squeezed out of traditional jobs like fruit picking and mail sorting by impoverished students and cheap foreign labour.

Or at least that’s what they can tell their parents – as they ask for money to go down to the pub…

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Posted: 11th, August 2003 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink