Next Year’s White

‘HAVING seen what is happening to Victoria Adams, we read with a nodding head the Mail’s story that white Europeans are turning black.

Cherie Blair shows off her new hairstyle

After shamefully missing out on asking the question once, the Mail is not going to do so again and swiftly announces: ”Will black be the new white?”

This leads to the thorny issue of what will happen to the old white. And what of the old rock ‘n’ roll and stand-up comedy?

These issues are best left to other times and slower news days, so for now the papers sticks with the research of German skin expert Dr Diaz Pesantes.

The doctor says that with the ultra-violet radiation from increased sunlight will raise the body’s production of melanin. As Europe gets hotter, whites will get darker.

To show us how this will look, the Mail blackens the face of Boris Becker, who with his shock of light hair looks like a photographic negative.

The same Black And White Minstrel trick is performed on German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder, who in the Mail’s eyes now has a ”Mandela look”.

While Germans celebrate the arrival of the country’s first black leader in 60 years, the smart among you realise why the Beckhams really went to live in Madrid.

With Victoria carving out a career in rap music, one thing she was lacking was the right skin colour. She’ll surely get that under the boiling Madrid sun.

Where she’ll get the talent from is another thing altogether. Perhaps her vest knows?

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Posted: 13th, August 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink