Scraping The Barrel

‘IT would take something bigger than Jordan’s IQ to make us avert our eyes from today’s celebrities, and the Star has it.

Probably the rarest lager in the world

Splashed across its front page like a puddle of vomit runs the headline: ”LAGER RUNS OUT – OFFICIAL.”

For the paper’s readership this is akin to a drought on silicon or the end of the world.

But the story is more of a taster of dark days to come as readers learn that it’s only Carlsberg that’s run dry.

And the hot weather is to blame, as Brits have been buying the Danish brew by the caseload. ”Instead of a gold rush, we’ve had a lager rush,” says a spokesman for supermarket chain Asda.

Stockpiles of other lagers and also running dangerously low. Castlemain XXXX, the Australian fizz, has been selling at four times its usual volumes.

Despite being reassuringly expensive, sales of Stella Artois have risen by 40% while the heat wave has been on.

But so far it’s just Carlsberg that has run out. So why?

The answer could be in its own promotion.

In this heat, the bubbly, fragrant drop might really be refreshing the parts other beers cannot reach. – especially if you pour it into the bath first…

Or was that Heineken?

‘

Posted: 14th, August 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink