A Horror Video

‘IN one of the more surreal plots of this year, producers tried to turn Little Mo into a subnormal Cynthia Payne. In a bid to put some money towards ”avin’ a bay-bee”, Little Mo had agreed to host a sex aids party in The Vic.

Janine relishes the thought of a night with Barry

For some ungodly reason, Spencer decided to hide a camcorder to record the likes of Kat and Janine squeezing into PVC pants. Perhaps he’s into horror films.

Kat was caught on tape admitting that she’d never loved anyone like ”’er Alfie” and, of course, Alfie just happened to walk in at that exact moment when Spencer was watching the tape. Alfie, who’s clearly a glutton for punishment, begged Kat to try again but she knows there’s far more mileage to be had from this storyline and turned him down – for now.

Another couple who look like they could be getting back together are Natalie and Barry. Natalie has been staying at Barry’s while recovering from flu. She confided in Pat (that great marriage counsellor) that she was thinking of giving their marriage another go.

This doesn’t fit in with Janine’s plans at all as she and Paul are out to suck Barry dry, (perhaps quite literally in Ms Butcher’s case).

”There’s only one thing for it,” Paul told her. ”You’re goin’ to ‘ave to sleep with ‘im.” An interesting approach for a boyfriend to take perhaps, but being pimped out is nothing new for our Janine.

Someone else’s business plans are looking decidedly rocky. Billy is determined to prove that he’s brighter than a member of Blue and that he can support Little Mo in the style she has become accustomed to – that’ll be one step up from Steptoe and Son then.

He’s invested his and father-in-law Charlie’s savings in a get-rich-quick pyramid scheme, which – what a surprise – turns out to be a con.

”What’s the most important fing a ‘usband can do for his wife?” he asked Alfie. ”It’s support ‘er.”

Which goes to show Billy really is as thick as he looks and also explains why Little Mo was so keen to host her sex aids party.

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Posted: 14th, August 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink