Half Baked

‘FANCY coming to Pizza Hut? Don’t worry, this isn’t a trick question to find out whether you are eligible for Anorak College. It’s just one of our silly old sayings, like ”Is the Pope a Catholic?” or ”Is Tony Blair yummy-scrummy?”

How will you get rid of the taste now?

Of course you want to come to Pizza Hut! Everyone wants to come to Pizza Hut!! And that’s the problem. Pizza Hut, like Oxbridge, is so popular that it is becoming a problem.

Some of its prospective customers are frankly unattractive. Especially the smokers. So we are glad to read in today’s Telegraph that the renowned purveyors of authentic Neapolitan cuisine are to ban smoking in their restaurants.

The ban will of course operate in the kitchens too, although the special smoking huts, where the delicious smoky bacon is prepared, will be exempt.

It is a well-known fact that when people give up smoking, they appreciate taste more. Lucky them, as they tuck into Pizza Hut’s fantastic range of luxurious toppings.

But lucky non-smokers too, for they will, for the first time, enjoy the heavenly aroma of warm cheese, sweet onion, baked beans and salad cream in all its glory and as nature intended – unimpaired by the smell of burning tobacco and bitter ash.

Bliss it will be to be alive on that day! Now then, are you going to eat that cheese-filled crust?

‘

Posted: 18th, August 2003 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink