Cereal Offenders
‘SINCE we all want out little loves to be individuals, special, to stand out from the rest, heres some advice, courtesy of the Times.
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| Vanessa at aged 10 |
Before Bianca and Jack go to school, feed them up on fizzy drinks, snack bars and junk. This way, they will stand less chance of getting 15 A-grades at GCSE like all the other humdrum kids.
In simple terms, eating crap makes you stupid. It can also make you physically slow, as a team at Reading University have discovered.
Children aged between nine and 16 who ate a hearty normal breakfast of cereal behaved well in physical tests. Those who had eaten junk food were reacting at levels normally associated with a person of 70.
This is not a cause for celebration among the older fraternity, who are, we are sorry to say, still shuffling laboriously along the aisles at B&Q, but cause for concern for the young.
At least with all the preservatives in the food they eat, however, children should remain in a vegetative yet comfortable state for many decades to come…’
Posted: 22nd, August 2003 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
